Dear GVA families,
Building the Village, Not the Rumor Mill
Several parents have recently brought a concerning trend to my attention: gossip at school drop-off, pick-up, and community events, often centered around other children or families. As a school community, we pride ourselves on being inclusive, supportive, and committed to raising globally minded, kind-hearted learners. But even the best of us can unintentionally participate in conversations that do more harm than good.
That’s why I’m including the following article, “From Gossip to Grace: How We Go From Judging to Being the Village.” It’s a thoughtful reminder that while connection and conversation are essential, so is compassion. We all want to feel understood and supported—let’s model that not just for our kids, but for each other.
Please take a few moments to read and reflect. Together, we can choose grace over gossip and build the kind of village every child deserves.
From Gossip to Grace: How We Go From Judging to Being the Village
Let’s be real—we’ve all done it. Standing on the sidelines at soccer practice, waiting outside ballet, hanging around after drop-off… and suddenly, someone says, “Did you hear what happened with Mason in Ms. Chen’s class?” And just like that, we’re in. The whisper train leaves the station, and we’re swapping stories about other people’s kids like we’re on a parenting panel for Bravo.
We say we’re just venting, or concerned, or “trying to understand what’s going on,” but deep down, we know: it’s gossip. And while it can feel satisfying in the moment—bonding over shared disbelief or irritation—it usually leaves a strange aftertaste. Because when the chatter dies down, the truth hits: those are someone’s kids we’re talking about.
So, how do we go from judging other families to actually being the village we always say we want?
1. Recognize the difference between connection and exclusion.
There’s nothing wrong with chatting, but when it becomes about who’s invited and who’s not, or who’s “out of control,” it stops being a connection and becomes a clique. And let’s be honest—we all left high school years ago. Parenting is already hard. We don’t need to add social landmines on top of it.
If you catch yourself labeling a kid or speculating about another parent’s choices, ask: Would I be okay if someone said this about my child?
2. Check your distance and your motive.
Sometimes we get pulled into gossip because we’re standing too close, physically and emotionally. If the conversation’s always about someone else's drama, maybe it's time to pivot: move to a different spot at pickup, walk with someone else, or say, “I hope everything’s okay with them,” and steer toward something lighter.
3. Get honest with yourself and your people.
Instead of whispering, “Can you believe she lets him act like that?” try: “That must be hard for them right now.” Or even, “I wonder how we could help.” You don’t have to pretend everything’s fine, but naming concerns with kindness instead of judgment is the first step toward being the support network we all need.
4. Say it kindly—but say it.
If a conversation veers into mean-spirited territory, it’s okay to pause and ask, “Do you think it’s fair to talk about it like that?” Or say, “This is feeling a little gossipy to me, mind if we switch gears?” Most of the time, people don’t realize how far they’ve gone. A gentle nudge might be all it takes.
5. Redirect with grace.
You can still shift the vibe if you don’t want to confront. Talk about weekend plans, ask about someone’s garden, or marvel at how none of us have figured out how to get kids to eat vegetables. Gossip fizzles fast when there’s nothing to fuel it.
Let’s be the grown-ups we want our kids to see.
It’s tempting to talk about someone else’s child or home when we don’t understand what’s going on, but what if we asked how we could support instead of speculate? What if we remembered that most parents are doing the best they can?
We say it takes a village. Let’s stop gossiping at the village gates and start building it together.
Calendar Reminders
5th Grade End of Year Celebration
Monday, May 19th | 5:30–8:00 PM
Details will be sent directly to 5th-grade families—stay tuned!
Let’s Be the Village: Supporting Two GVA-DC Families in a Time of Grief
As a community, we often discuss the importance of being a village for one another—lifting each other up during challenging times and wrapping our arms around those in need. Right now, we can put those words into action and show what it truly means to care for our own.
The Hermanson Family
Many of you know Raquel Hermanson and her parents, David and Maria, who have been deeply involved and supportive members of our school community. Sadly, their family recently experienced the heartbreaking loss of their unborn baby. While they have extended family in town offering support, we would like to ease their burden in the weeks ahead by organizing a Meal Train. A warm meal is a simple but powerful way to show love and compassion as they grieve and begin to heal.
Hermanson Family Meal Train – Sign Up Here
The Biehl-Fitzpatrick Family
We are also holding close the Biehl-Fitzpatrick family in our hearts after the sudden and tragic passing of Kevin Biehl, beloved father and husband. Caitlin and her three young children—Grace (6), Thomas (4), and Claire (2) are now navigating unimaginable loss. In this time of sorrow, we hope to provide a small comfort by ensuring they are nourished and cared for through a Meal Train organized in their honor.
Biehl-Fitzpatrick Family Meal Train – Sign Up Here
This is what it means to be a community.
Let’s come together as neighbors, friends, and fellow parents to remind these families that they are not alone. Even a single meal or kind note can make a lasting difference.
Warmly,
Stacy Bush
Principal, GVA Douglas County